Say Queso! A Man’s Guide to Teeth Whitening
Smoking. Red wine. Coffee. Guilty pleasures but all things that cause your toothy pegs to lose the glorious white hue they had in childhood. The range of tooth whitening options is, quite frankly, massive, and a quick Amazon search reveals an array of baffling products. It’s like ordering the mixed seafood in a Chinese restaurant: you see things that look vaguely familiar but it’s all pretty terrifying too. If you want to know if you need teeth whitening, then consult this handy chart and if you find you’ve got a gob full of 5s then try one of the following solutions…
Whitening toothpaste
WHERE: at home
COST: $
TIME: long term
METHOD: It’s as easy as brushing your teeth.
EFFECT: Subtle. It’s just your regular toothpaste but with added chemicals, abrasives and polishing agents, so it provides extra stain removal but won’t actually change the natural color of your teeth. Even the most effective toothpastes will only lighten teeth by one shade on the chart, so it’s not the option for a quick, pre-wedding fix.
RISKS: Products that include pumice may cause damage to the enamel.
Whitening gel
WHERE: at home
COST: $$
TIME: two weeks
METHOD: A gel applied twice a day directly to the teeth. The magic ingredient peroxide ensures decent results.
EFFECT: More noticeable than the toothpaste thanks to the peroxide. Yay, peroxide! It is a bit poisonous though. Boo, peroxide.
RISKS: Gum irritation. Unsupervised dental fiddling. You wouldn’t do your own fillings, would you?
Whitening strips
WHERE: at home
COST: $$
TIME: two weeks
METHOD: Similar to the gel, but more convenient. These thin strips coated with a whitening gel are applied twice daily for 30 minutes a time.
EFFECT: You’ll see results within a few days, and the whitening effect lasts for around four months. Perfect for a pre-wedding pick me up, because she’s stuck with you when your pegs go yellow again.
RISKS: As with the gel.
Tray-based whitening
WHERE: at home
COST: $$$
TIME: Up to four weeks
METHOD: A plastic tray is filled with a whitening solution and fitted around the teeth for a couple of hours a day or overnight.
EFFECT: Pretty good.
RISKS: The tray won’t be fitted especially for your teeth, so there may be some discomfort. Risk of gum irritation, gum discoloration, blistering in the mouth and sensitive teeth. Look for the ADA-approval to minimize risk.
Professional bleaching
COST: $$$
TIME: Up to four weeks
METHOD: Tray-based as above, but less risky. The tray will be made specially from an impression of your teeth and a protective gel or guard will be provided to protect the gums.
EFFECT: Hollywood white. The dentist will be able to use a more powerful bleaching agent for better results.
RISKS: Minimal, thanks to the involvement of the professionals.
Power whitening
COST: $$$$
TIME: One hour! It’s the quick fix option.
METHOD: A rubber dam is put over the gums, gel is painted on the teeth and lasers are shone on the teeth to activate the chemical. It’s like Star Wars IN YOUR MOUTH!
EFFECT: Hello, Ryan Seacrest! No, stop, please, I’m going blind. In dentist’s terms, it’s up to five or six shades lighter.
RISKS: Sensitive teeth, sore throat, white patches on gums, blinding your bride with your teeth.
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