10 Easy Ways To Ruin Your Look
Weddings are one when time when you should go the extra mile to make sure you look your best, but it’s a road paved with pitfalls. Allow us to interfere for a second (it’s for your own good) as we detail the ten quickest ways to ruin your look.
Unsightly Bulges
No snickering at the back. We’re talking keys, wallets, mobile phones and cameras protruding through the pockets and ruining the line of your suit. Carry only the essentials and leave the rest in your room.
Creases
Have your suit professionally pressed and keep it that way until you come to put it on. There’s nothing worse than a suit that looks like it’s been living on the bedroom floor for a month. If you’re wearing linen, good luck…
Stains
We told you not to get the spaghetti...
It’s a moment’s mistake that can ruin the day, so assess each situation for its stain-creating potential. Hold the baby? No sir! Ice cream cone? Only with a bib! Breakfast of bolognaise? Put that spaghetti-twirling fork down!
Black Shoes
As a rule of thumb, black shoes work with navy, gray and black suits. Tan shoes work with navy suits but rarely with black (although there’s a vogue for this particular look at the moment – make your own mind up if it works). On your wedding day, it’s likely you’ll be wearing a new pair of shoes but, for the sake of comfort, make sure you break them in first by wearing them around the house. You won’t look good if you’re wincing in pain and oozing blister juice down the aisle.
White Socks
Not unless you’re wearing a white suit and white shoes. And you definitely shouldn’t be wearing a white suit unless your name is John Travolta or you have chutzpah by the bucket-load.
A Bad Haircut
Spend more than $20.00 at the hairdressers. Go to a place where they insist on washing your hair and where the reading material on offer is Esquire, not Penthouse. And do it a week or two before the wedding, so if everything goes horribly wrong you have time to get it cut again or let it grow out slightly.
Clashing
Match the tie and shirt carefully, and don’t be afraid to ask for more opinions if you haven’t got a clue.
A Bad Fit
A well-fitted suit will hide a multitude of sins, masking your unsightly bits and emphasising the, er, sightly bits. A suit that fits poorly will do one of two things: have the effect of a sausage skin, squeezing flesh into hideous lumps, or make you look like the boy at the end of Big, when Zoltar has returned him to teenage form but he’s still wearing Tom Hanks-sized clothes. And that is not a good look.
As a rule, a well-fitted suit will allow a full range of motion, both buttoned and unbuttoned. You should be able to fit one finger between your neck and your shirt collar when buttoned up and the arms of the shirt should not ride up when you stretch your arms.
If your suit is bunching around your ankles buy a belt (that matches) or work the braces look. Failing that rent trousers that fit you for length in the first place.
Sweat Patches
Sweat patches are unsightly, embarrassing and deeply unsexy, and also very hard to get rid of once they’ve saturated the area under your armpits. When they do, the sweat spiral begins: you can’t remove your jacket for fear of people seeing them, but the jacket makes you hotter and hotter. Pretty soon, the micro-climate in there is as humid as Madagascar in monsoon season. The key here is prevention: spray with industrial strength antiperspirant before you dress and take the can with you in case a top-up is required later in the day. And remember, a dark shirt will hide the patches of even a profuse sweater. If sweating is a real problem, talk to your dermatologist about Botox injections. No, we’re not trying to make you look like the Joker or Mickey Rourke, the medication is often used to help combat excessive perspiration.
The Last Minute Checks
One of the responsibilities of the best man is to see to it that your groom is the sharpest man in the room. You don’t need to be carrying around a hair dryer, but you should give him a glance over every now and then to cover off things like food in teeth, has his shirt come untucked, if he’s got food all over his face and even whether the drunken fool has forgotten to zip himself up. It’s truly a tough gig being the best man…
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