I Got Married

Reader, I’ve only gone and done it.

That’s right; I, the girl voted Most Likely To Become A Model in the school yearbook and Least Likely To Make A Commitment in the circle of friends, have sworn to love and cherish (not to obey though, mind) Paul, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part. Poor guy.

The wedding itself was a roaring success. We managed not to flunk our vows, the groom looked rather dashing (photos to follow), nobody threw up or fell over, my grandmother didn’t freak out over our tattooed hedonistic friends, a few people who met for the first time at the reception are now in a relationship and we didn’t miss the plane to Cyprus the next day.

The wind and the veil caused chaos on the day. It was just one of little mishaps that nobody gave a shit about in the end.

Having had time to recharged my batteries, as I write this in a cavern of ransacked suitcases and a rainforest’s worth of cards, in a near delirious state of jet lag and the sinking realisation that the Garden Of England doesn’t hold a candle up to the charming landscapes of Paphos, I am nevertheless so excited for our future together. Forget post-wedding blues, the return home has really made that feeling real. We are now husband and wife.

There is so much to think about now, from little things like whether I want to change my surname (I thought I did, going from Miss Crazyrussiankalashnikov to Mrs Englishwoman was very alluring but I have a strange urge to hold on to it now) to where we see ourselves in ten years’ time. We made lists on honeymoon, with diverse subjects ranging from what 10 places we would most like to travel to what the set-up to our home movie (oi oi!) would be. We talked about how we want to redecorate the flat. We talked about how we will prioritise real friends over those who were there when we wanted to party but were no-shows at the wedding. We talked about mortgages and buy-to-lets.

Even though our wedding, in a sense, was a culmination of our long and often turbulent relationship, it was also a new beginning. While we’ve always had a rather louche and humorous approach to all things relationship, the knowledge that we are married now has brought with it a seriousness that was mostly unexpected but wholly welcomed. The little things that we agonised about, such as seating plans and hair extensions, seem petty now, in the light of things that have become important. Because while weddings, with the emphasis on style, stag nights and socially acceptable binge drinking, are a great celebration of lifelong commitment, what follows is even greater.

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