Stag-Do City Guides: Newquay

Long-loved by the surf set, the old fishing port of Newquay has recently been busy establishing itself as the West Country’s premier stag-do destination (ok, so competition is limited, but still).

During the day the beaches provide the entertainment with a wide range of watersports and legions of bikini-clad beauties stretching out on the sand, while nightlife in the town is legendary for its raucousness, with a huge concentration of bars and clubs in the centre.

Bear in mind though that venues are generally more tacky than classy and you’re likely to find yourselves surrounded by other visiting stags and hens rather than locals. For some this is paradise itself, for others hell on earth. However, if that’s what you’re after, look no further…

NIGHT CLUBS

Berties Nightclub – Packed out in summer, Berties is a lively venue with sizeable dance floor – popular with those in fancy dress. 01637 870369, www.bertiesclub.com

Beach – Beach has four bars, three floors and two DJs and hosts the occasional beach party or foam night. Popular with a very young crowd. 01637 872 194‎, www.beachclubnewquay.com

Tall Trees – Touted as Cornwall’s premier dance music venue Tall Trees boasts three floors and five bars. 01637 850313, www.talltreesclub.com

Pure – Aiming to bring Ibiza to the West Country, Pure is Newquay’s superclub and attracts some big names and an even bigger crowd. 01637 850 313, www.purenewquay.com

Sailors – Mainstream club/pub with a good atmosphere and well-priced drinks. 01637 872838, www.sailorsnightclub.com

DECENT PLACES TO GET A BEER

The Chy – With a name that means “home” in Cornish, this is a relaxed bar with a chilled atmosphere. DJs take to the decks at night and the food’s good too. Beach Road, 01637 873415, www.thekoola.com/the-chy-bar

The Black Sheep – One for early in the evening, the Black Sheep is a contemporary, chilled bar serving real ales and great food. There’s a pool table too. Station Approach, 01637 839 125, www.theblacksheepnewquay.co.uk

Brunel Bar – Quiet, traditional pub at the Great Western Hotel serving a good selection of real ales. Cliff Road, 01637 872010

Walkabout - You know the drill – a party-hard bar that offers a range of drinks promotions and decent grub. Not one for the faint-hearted. The Crescent, 01637 853000, www.walkabout.eu.com

Newquay Arms – Lively pub attracting a mixed crowd and locals, surfers and tourists with its cheesy tunes and small dance floor. Bank Street, 01637 878887

The Central Inn – Arranged over two floors this modern inn is great for lounging during the day and also has a cocktail bar upstairs. Central Square, 01637 873810

Fort Inn – The biggest beer garden in Newquay with an amazing sea view. Pool tables inside and real ales are served. Fore Street, 01637 875700

Towan Blystra – Typical Wetherspoons pub attracting a young crowd including lots of stags and hens. Cliff Road, 01637 852970

The Red Lion – Locals pub serving real ales with nice views of the harbour. Also does food. North Quay Hill, 01637 872195

Old Albion Inn – Pleasant village pub not far out of town, serving great real ales. The pub is renowned for ts smuggling history and boasts a secret tunnel to the beach. Langurroc Road, Crantock, 01637 830243

STRIP CLUBS

Halos – Exotic dancing venue offering private dances subject to the three foot rule in an upmarket setting. Contact them for group bookings. Prices vary, 01637 872228, www.halosnewquay.co.uk

Divas – Full body contact strip club with over 60 girls working. Check them out in advance online. £10–20, 07957 358997, www.divasnewquay.co.uk

DECENT RESTAURANTS

Senor Dick’s – Lively Mexican restaurant serving traditional Mexican favourites. East Street, 01637 870 350, www.senor-dicks.co.uk

The Orient – Family-run Chinese with what has to be one of the longest menus in Cornwall. Henver Road, 01637 877299, www.theorientrestaurant.co.uk

Indian Summer – Modern Indian restaurant with a range of out-of-the-ordinary chef’s specials. East Street, 01637 872964, www.indiansummer-newquay.co.uk

Buzios – Bar, restaurant and pool hall set over three floors with a grill-heavy menu. East Street, 01637 870300, www.buziosbar.co.uk

Newquay Meadery – Medieval-themed bar and restaurant serving hearty food in Newquay’s livliest atmosphere. Marcus Hill, 01637 873000, www.newquaymeadery.co.uk

LATE NIGHT FOOD PLACES

Newquay Kebab and Pizza – Centrally located takeaway serving, obviously, pizza and kebabs. East Street, 01637 879039‎

Central Grill - A wide range of kebabs served until 4am nightly. Central Square, 01637 874043

TRAVEL

Newquay is a small town so you won’t have any trouble walking to most places. If you need a cab from the airport or to and from your hotel Newquay Cabs offer an online booking service or call them on 07968 874116 for short-notice rides.

Tourist Information: 01637 854 020‎, www.newquay.co.uk

Airport: 01637 860600, www.newquaycornwallairport.com

Railway Station: 0845 712 5678, www.nationalrail.co.uk

ESSENTIAL VOCAB

This be surf country, better brush up one some surf slang then:

Filthy: sickening good. Can be applied to everything from waves to women.

Ag: a multi-purpose sign of irritation.

Hiddie: the opposite of filthy. Hideous.

And in the Cornish dialect, a tourist is an emmet. Only meant slightly derogatorily, we’re assured.

ESSENTIAL TRIVIA

Surfing started in the UK in the 1920s in Perranporth, just along the coast, by soldiers returning from the First World War, where they heard about it from their American allies. A local coffin maker made the first surfboards.

Rally driver Donald Healey was born in Perranporth and went to Newquay College before he left to fight in the First World War. After being shot down by British anti-aircraft fire he opened a garage in Perranporth.

Lord of the Flies author William Golding was born in Newquay and spent his childhood holidays on the beach here.