Stag-do City Guides: Amsterdam

Amsterdam Ahhhh, the smell of the tulips, the sweet sound of bicycles over cobbled pathways, the romance of the canal waterways.Yeah, right. There are only two reasons a stag party chooses Amsterdam for the groom’s final blowout – one you smoke and the other you grope (well, depending on whether you just window shop or go the full hog). So what exactly does the land of the red light district and legal drugs have to offer?

NIGHT CLUBS

Cooldown Café: Mix of rock, R&B, Dutch style pop and house on Rembrant square (Rembrandtplein). www.cooldowncafe.nl +31 20 4212284

Paradiso: Rock, pop and techno in a former church with live DJ until 4-5am. www.paradiso.nl +31 20 626879

The Melkweg: (The Milky Way) Popular rock and dance club housed in a former diary. www.melkweg.nl +31 20 531 8181

Odeon: A bar and 1970s music disco in a historic gracht house with a colourful, relaxed atmosphere and a mixed crowd.www.odeontheater.nl +31 20 6249711

Bourbon Street: Live blues at this famous Jazz-Blues Discotheek every night. www.bourbonstreet.nl +31 20 6233440

DECENT PLACES TO GET A BEER

The Bulldog Café: Famous, colourful and a must-stop for tourists. One found in Leidesplein (including a coffee shop) and one in the red light district. www.bulldog.nl/cafes.htm

The Old Sailor: Friendly, red light district pub. If you sit by the gambling machine you can watch the ‘ladies’ in the windows and the passers by. http://old-sailor.com/ +31 (0)20 6247739

Coco’s Outback: Aussie pub – a great all rounder for sports, happy hour, tucker and clubbing. www.cocosoutback.com +31 (0) 20 6272423

De Admiraal: Big, beautiful tasting house and restaurant connected to the Van Wees distillery. (Herengracht 319, tel 020-6254334)

Drink n’ Sink: English sports pub is located near the Dutch stock exchange, great atmosphere and food. Tel: 020 – 62 70 12 5

The Tara Irish Pub: Mixed Irish and Dutch themed pub with plenty of space, live music, sports and pool tables. +31 204 212 654 www.thetara.com

Café Karpershoek: Oldest bar in Amsterdam dating back to 1606, old brown café character, local beers, Dutch cheese and Heineken on tap. +31 (0)20 624 7886 www.cafekarpershoek.nl

Satellite Sports Café: Central, friendly sports bar serving pancakes from the well-stocked kitchen. 020 427 2529
 www.satellitesportscafe.nl

Café Gollum: Relaxing, cozy, brown café serving over 200 kinds of (mostly Belgium) bottled beers and 10 beers on tap. www.cafegollem.nl +31(0)6 – 46750155

Café De Pels: Appealing shabby brown café where the entertainment focus is on drinking. 020 622 90 37

STRIP CLUBS

Casa Rossa: Live theatre sex show popular with stag and hen groups. 020 6231834 €30 per person with no drinks or €45 per person with 4 drink tickets www.casarosso.nl

Banana Bar: As above in a bar setting with only females performing their tricks. €45, p.p. drinks included. More if you want hands-on action. www.bananenbar.nl

DECENT RESTAURANTS

Café de Jaron: Well-known terraced cafe in Amsterdam, serving Grolsch beer, homemade pies, daily fresh salads and more, lunch and dinner. www.cafedejaren.nl Tel: 020 62 55 77 1

Akbar Indian restaurant: Just off Leidesplein with warm atmosphere and hot curries. Bruce Willis ate here. www.akbar.nl 020-6242211

Hard Rock Café: Burgers, fries and rock stars’ underpants, weird that Bruce Willis didn’t eat here really. +31 (0) 20 523 7625 www.hardrock.com

d’Vijff Vlieghen (The 5 Flies): Nine dining rooms of the Dutch Golden Age such as the Knights’ Hall with a collection of armour. Groups can book different rooms. www.d-vijffvlieghen.com/nl

Hoi Tin: Authentic, quality Chinese cuisine in this slightly scruffy restaurant – over 200 dishes on the menu and cheap. +31 20 6256451

ALL-NIGHT FOOD PLACES

Bojo: Traditional Indonesian fare served in large quantities at low prices. Open fri and sat til 4am. (622 74 34).

Dam Square: On the edge of the red light district, cafes and restaurants open until early hours. Beware of Charlie boy drug pushers.

FEBO: Hot Dutch fried fast food from a machine at around 1 euro- multiple outlets serving mostly krokets and taste amazing after copious beers. This is more fast food until 1am. www.febo.nl

TRAVEL

Taxicentrale Amsterdam: The city’s largest taxi base (www.tca-amsterdam.nl tel:020-6777777). Or try a bike taxi (www.wielertaxi.nl Tel: 020-6721149 ), motorcycle taxi (www.motortaxi.nl tel: 0900-3335555) or  water taxi (www.water-taxi.nl tel: 020-5356363)

Best airport transfer route:

The city centre is 20km – or around a half hour ride – from Schipol airport. Hop on a one of five trains an hour from the station underneath the airport into Centraal Station or grab a cab for around 40 euros.

A Direct Rail Link connects Schiphol International Airport to Amsterdam central station and is the fastest and most convenient way to get to the city center. Trains run every 10 minutes (airport train schedule) from platforms 1 and 2 in the main arrival plaza and cost just € 3.60 for a single journey. Have change on hand to use the ticket machines to avoid the lines and € 0.50 surcharge at the ticket office.

Airport Shuttles run by Connexxion depart every 10 minutes with service to more than 100 hotels throughout the city. Tickets cost € 11 one way, € 17.50 for a return, and can be purchased inside the main arrival plaza. Guests of major hotels should first check the shuttle area to see if their hotel provides a complimentary service.

Tourist information:

Amsterdam Tourist and Convention Board Tel: +31 20 5305090 or www.iamsterdam.com/en/visiting

Emergency number: 112 (for first aid, police, fire department)

Airport (Costumer Services) +31 (0) 20 601 9111 www.schiphol.nl

Public Transport: GVB (www.gvb.nl) Trams provide the best way to get around Amsterdam and run regularly until 12:15am.

ESSENTIAL VOCAB:

This gentleman will pay for everything: Dezer meneer betallt alles

Will you dance with me: Wil je met me dansen?

Leave me alone! Laat me met rust!

Call the police! Bel de polite!

My hovercraft is full of eels: Mijn luchtkussenboot zit vol paling

ESSENTIAL TRIVIA

Bizarrely a smoking ban does apply in Amsterdam although most have restaurants etc have smoking areas where service is not provided. It also applies in coffee shops where if you want something to drink while you smoke the law actually requires you to go to the coffee shop’s non-smoking area!

At one time it was possible to walk from Holland to Britain. However, the levels of the North Sea began to rise at the end of the last Ice Age covering over the land bridge by 6000 BC.

Amsterdam has over 1 million bikes but only 700.000 Amsterdammers

Amsterdam has over 300 coffee shops which can legally sell up to 5 grams of soft drugs to each person.

Dutch people are the tallest in all of Europe.