Blog – Moving From Friends To Something More
Hi Brenda, I’ve been mates with a girl for ages and we’ve known each other since we were young. I know that she’s the one for me and I know she likes me too and I’m sure it’s as more than a friend. I want to propose – what do you think?
Dear Friend Zone,
Put the ring back in your pocket and step away from the gal. Dating and courtship is a delicate dance with any dame – especially one you have already established a friendship with – so before you completely overwhelm her with news that A) you have romantic feelings for her and B) want to marry her, take some time to find out how she feels about you (thus avoiding a very awkward moment).
The fact is, even if she does have feelings for you, any gal in her right mind will want to explore those feelings before heading down the altar.
Here are a few tips for moving out of the friend zone carefully:
Prepare Yourself: When a woman feels “safe” with a male friend, it can be disconcerting when he shares the fact that he’s thought about her in less-than-platonic ways. Be prepared for your gal pal to have some conflicting feelings about this if she isn’t interested in moving into a new area with you.
Take a Hint: If she’s always running to you about other men or responds to your confession with, “I care about you as a friend”, let it go. Both of these things means that she loves you and respects you, but not in the way you had hoped. If this happens, take it like a man and don’t revisit the subject again as doing so will only make her uncomfortable you leave you feeling rejected.
Tread Lightly: Going in for a kiss after grabbing a bite at your favorite hang-out isn’t the smoothest – or smartest – move. Instead, drop a few subtle hints and see how she responds. Tell her she looks beautiful or that you’d love to meet a woman like her and see how she responds.
Be Realistic: You might be great friends, but dating her is going to bring out a different side of the both of you and this means that, even if you do give it a go, it may not work out (and it may lead to the greatest love affair of your lives). Being friends lays a fantastic foundation for long-term love but it doesn’t guarantee it.
Follow Your Heart: You feel how you feel and you have an obligation to yourself to give it a go and to her to be honest. Do it with a bit of restraint and a lot of class and you two will be fine whichever way it goes.
Brenda Della Casa
Author, Cinderella Was a Liar
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