Several Thousand Wedding Jokes
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?” “Sam,” the man moaned. “Where ya from, Sam?” With pain in his voice Sam replied “The balcony.”
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.
He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”
Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mum said, “He does.”
A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you don’t promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife.” The poor man wrote back, “I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.”
As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband’s ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it.
For fifty long years Uncle Jack left the box alone until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash.
He took the box to Aunt Edna and asked about the contents.
“My mother gave me that box the day we married,” she explained. “She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you.”
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she’d only been mad at him twice.
“What’s the $82,500 for?” he asked.
“Oh, that’s the money I made selling the rest of the doilies.”
A guy was invited to some old friends’ home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
The guy was impressed since the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy: “I think it’s wonderful that after all the years you’ve been married, you still call your wife those pet names.”
His buddy hung his head. “To tell you the truth,” he said, “I forgot her name about ten years ago.”
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Getting married is one of the most wonderful moments in a person’s life. Since getting married is the most joyful moment in the lives of the bride and the groom; it seems befitting that it should be followed with the best wedding reception possible after the formal ceremony. One of the best things about the wedding reception is definitely the wedding speeches that take place. Wedding speech is tradition that has been going on for centuries. It is generally customary for loved ones of the wedding couple to extend their best wishes to the bride and the groom. However; these speeches should be made naturally and also these speeches should be laced with humorous jokes in order to lighten the environment. Although the wedding day will be a joyous day for all; it is important to lighten the environment with a light hearted speech. Especially the bride and the groom will appreciate your candor. In this speech, talking about the positive aspects of the wedding can also be a great morale booster to the wedding couple. Of course, making a wedding speech is not an easy event. It involves detailed preparation; but in the end for the speech to be successful, it must come from the bottom of your heart. The wedding speech must have a positive tone and the speech should convey hope to every one in the wedding reception. This article does give a alternatives and suggestions to make your speech a light hearted. . If you need any suggestions for wedding venues, Keele Conferences & Events can provide many excellent venues, such as wedding venues in Stoke-on-Trent. Aside from Wedding venues, they also have conference venues and sports centers with necessary facilities.
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