I Have Thrust Myself Into This Maze

My name is Jonathan, and I’m getting married in 187 days.

I have thrust myself into this maze,
Haply to wive and thrive as best I may.
(The Taming of the Shrew 1.2.56-7)

Our eyes met across my classroom.

Don’t fret, she was a colleague, and we have worked together in the same school ever since. The trials and tribulations of working and then living together meant our early years were not easy, but cemented our friendship and future and coincidentally it was when I was dressed as Doc Emmett Brown at my thirtieth birthday party that I decided I was ready to be somebody’s husband.

I asked for Lisa’s hand in marriage back in 2010, after a few glasses of wine around the in-laws to be. Me and Jimmy share a love of FC Barcelona, and the moment that Messi scored in their Champions League game that evening, I decided the moment was right. The fact that we are both ardent Evertonians, and that at the same time Fiorentina were scoring at Liverpool, made it an even more special event.

Thankfully, he agreed.

Having perhaps estranged a few readers already, I will now explain the scenario for popping the question.
We had already planned to go to New York the following Christmas, where, unbeknownst to Lise, I was constructed a cunning plan. Despite her fear of heights, I was to go down on one knee atop the Empire State Building on Christmas morning, and despite the last-minute cancelling of BA strikes and a heavy snow fall, as well as lost baggage meaning we had no clothes for three days, I still had the joke ring and more importantly, the determination to carry out my proposal, we got up there ok and, following a tearful “really?” and an inquisitive Japanese tourist getting in the way, she said Yes.

We bought the ring in the Diamond district, and came home to celebration and admiration, but, I’ll admit, I was pretty naive about the whole wedding thing.

I had no idea of the costs, the incessant TV shows, the inspirations and no-nos, the discussions about venues and guest lists and cake shapes, probably because I was still very young at heart and had spent my twenties planning lessons, being a teacher, collecting flotsam and jetsam in my other life as an artist, listening to the heartfelt moans about celibacy that Morrissey shares, and questioning David Moyes’s tactics… however, since that awakening, I have come to love the idea of the BIG DAY and all that comes before (and during) it.

I have particularly become enthralled by the wedding show phenomenon and all the carrier bags full of freebies and discounts they bring with them. Thankfully, it was at such an event recently that I came across staggered and I was relieved to find I wasn’t alone.

My desire to share my ideas and write down my thoughts and innermost feelings on this seminal life event now had a voice! I have spent the last few years writing about football for fanzines, topics such as food (I nearly got on Masterchef) and films (I was an extra in The 51st State) for websites such as www.inthegoldroom.com, and documenting my own artwork on my blog www.jonathangreenbank.com but here is the chance to document my journey as a groom – with the assistance of my best man, Jay Liu – as Old Father Time quickly counts down towards April 5 2012 and the photos, the speech, the first dance, and everything in between.

We get married at Rufford Old Hall – where a certain William Shakespeare, probably the author of the quote that introduced this piece, is rumoured to have once performed – and the reception is at a boutique hotel in Southport, England’s Classic Seaside Resort.

There is so much to do still, and so much to say…

Therefore, amidst our current culture consisting of a plethora of magazines, designer dresses, bridezillas and not telling the bride, I hope to play a small part in redressing the balance somewhat, if only to tell my story and maybe shifting the focus a little bit towards all those of us who set the wheels in motion in the first place…

My name is Jonathan, and I’m getting married in 187 days.

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