Extreme Stag-Do Drinking Games
My stag do is now less than a day away, and you’ll be pleased to hear the Best Man got his finger out and organised us a pretty good itinerary. So am I going to tell you all the nice things we’re going to see in Berlin?
Good luck Berlin.
No. Because that’s just a distraction to keep us out of the bar. Besides, the powers that be at Staggered are on the verge of publishing our own Stag Do City Guide (TM), pending my report from the city. Which, if it’s anything like my report from Stockholm, will be about as much use as milk shoes. But my team of Staggered-appointed therapists* say I’m sufficiently recovered to be let lose on another European town. I’m beginning to doubt their qualifications – and why they all seem to be called “Dr Dave” – but these things Must Be Done.
So instead of a city guide, I’ve decided to share a few of the drinking games and rules we’ve come up with this week, in an effort to cruelly punish our livers. Anyone who’s been on a heavy stag do or any kind of sports team tour will probably be familiar with some of this – please add your own in the comments section! Anyone more timid, or more female, is likely to react with a mix of horror, disgust and pity. But beware – these will happen, and we will stick to them:
We will have preset “frenzy” periods (say 7pm-10pm), when drinking games, rules etc. apply. Otherwise we’re just going to be bladdered all the time.
Some basic rules:
POINTING - at no point can ANY player point a finger at anything, to indicate another player who has lost a game, accuse him of being gay, or merely just indicate the way to the toilet. Pointing with elbows, knees, nose, toes etc. is allowed. Forfeit: 4 fingers. This is played in addition to (not instead of) forfeits from other games. I guarantee that at least one of us will point at someone for pointing…
MR WEIGHTS AND MEASURES - One player will be appointed to govern the acceptability of forfeits (i.e. whether you drank 4 fingers or not). Any player can accuse another of a short measure (don’t point!), but Mr W&M has the final decision. Beware – if you stitch people up when this is your job, and you will get it back twice as bad the next night!
MR WEATHERMAN: One player is appointed as Mr Weatherman. If you need the toilet you must ask Mr Weatherman what the weather is like. If he says it’s raining, you may you go to the toilet.
Boozy games:
It's what he would have wanted.
THE THUMB GAME – Any player (around a single table) places his thumb on the edge of the table (so only the tip is showing and the rest of his hand is under the table) – WITHOUT ANNOUNCING THIS.
- Other players who then notice this must then put their thumbs on the table in a similar fashion. The last player not to place his thumb downs 4 fingers.
- NEW RULE – this must be done with LEFT THUMB ONLY. This will cause some interesting confusion if played with the game below.
- NEW RULE – any player who has placed his thumb CANNOT REMOVE IT until the game round is over. Anyone caught doing this becomes the loser.
SYNCHRONISE WATCHES – Between 01 and 29 past the hour drink with the Left Hand – opposite side of where second hand on watch/clock is pointing.
- Between 31 and 59 past the hour drink with the Right Hand – opposite side of where second hand on watch/clock is pointing.
- 00 and 30 don’t drink or hold your pint cause who knows which hand it should be in.
- To catch someone you have to chink their glass with yours whilst it’s in their wrong hand and anyone caught has to down what’s left and no excuses such as carrying round of drinks back to table or lighting a fag etc.
DIE INFIDELS – One player stands up and shouts, “Die infidels”! Then the owners of the two tallest towers of drink (i.e. the two with the most beer left) must finish their glasses. From then on, only one of these two players is allowed to call the game.
MEIN FUHRER – One player jumps up and shouts “Mein Fuhrer!” and does the Nazi salute. All other players have to follow. DISCLAIMER – In the interests of diplomatic relations, and Not Getting Arrested, I have banned this game. After all it was all a long time ago, and we’re all friends now.
I’m also bringing yellow andred cards, which I will use as and when I see fit. I’m still on the lookout for a Russian linesman…
*Staggered denies all responsibility for Pete’s mental state, and would like to point out the these “therapists” are just in his head.
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Awesome Pete – this sounds like an EPIC stag do! Can’t wait to hear about the (repeatable in public) war wounds!
Mein fuhrer is very risky in Germany since doing a Nazi salute is a criminal offence and can land you in prison for up to 3 years.
Still, going to Oktoberfest and not mentioning the war or nazis is a challenging game in itself, the loser then having to down their stein – wunderbar!
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