Why We Hate The Man Creche

Ok, we started ranting a bit on Twitter about the man creche thing and we thought it might be worthwhile explaining in a bit more detail, without having to parse everything down into 140 characters…

First off – the whole discussion started because at the Best Brides wedding exhibition in Kent there’s going to be a man-creche, as explained here:

While you’re exploring everything this amazing show has to offer, why not leave your groom in the Man Crèche? Here he can have a drink from the bar, read the Sunday papers, check out the race track or just watch TV, while you indulge yourself with all the wonderful suppliers.

We’ve had this discussion in the office before and our overall feeling is that the idea of a man creche is offensive and backward and completely underestimates the new position of men in the wedding world. Granted, we’re bound to say that because we’re a wedding magazine aimed at men (you did know that didn’t you?). However, what that means is that we speak to blokes every single day who are involved in weddings and you know what? All of them are engaged with the process. They want to be more involved but 1) it’s new to them and 2) there’s practically no support.

There’s two very good reasons that the wedding industry should wake up to the fact that men exist. The first is that men live in a post-Beckham world. This is one of the most popular and talented footballers on earth and he wore a skirt. You may dismiss Beckham as a novelty but we think he really did change things. For blokes now, it’s ok to be interested in style and fashion without it instantly bringing up arguments about whether you’re gay. The post-Beckham man could probably even quite happily discuss flowers without flinching (ok, maybe not flowers).

The second reason is that blokes are paying more towards the cost of their own wedding than ever before. In olden days it was the father-in-law’s money paying for the bride-to-be’s day. Your average bloke isn’t goign to start shouting the odds about having a say if that’s the arrangement. You’d upset your FIL and your B2B – not cool.

Now NO ONE is saying that it’s not the bride-to-be’s day any more but if blokes are paying for a greater share then it makes sense that we’re going to be a bit more engaged with the process. Heck, we might even want to buy a suit that we’ll keep after the big day, or help pick the food and the music.

So in the light of all this why is the man creche so offensive? Because it ignores the real problem of men at wedding fairs. We’re at the fairs, hanging onto the arms of the women we love but, frankly, we’re bored senseless. Not because we don’t care but because ALMOST NONE of the content is aimed at us. It’s lunacy.

To end our rant, here’s our request to wedding fair organisers: don’t spend money on creches, arcades or Sky Sports, give men some content that actually helps them get involved and not marginalising from the outset. What like? How about:

• speech seminars teaching men how to write and deliver their speeches
• decent fashion advice clinics/fashion shows aimed at men
• rehearsals of what it’s like to give your vows (one of the things that men are most scared of FYI)
• A bar with free Sky Sports and arcades (what? The post-Beckham male is allowed to be contrary)

In fact, we make this offer in all seriousness – if you’re organising a wedding fair get in touch (iamstaggered@gmail.com) and we’ll give you 50 ideas of how to make it man-friendly, without making us angry or saying that it’s OUR day now. It’s not, but we’d like to have a share in it.

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