Where To Propose In London
“London loves”, goes the Britpop-era Blur song and indeed it does. From Brief Encounter to Sliding Doors, romance and the capital have long been intertwined like dogs on heat.
If you’re planning on proposing in “The Smoke” as no one calls it, chances are that your relationship began and blossomed in the city. Taking the lady back to where you first met, or where you had your first date, is always a good idea.
But what to do if you met in a kebab shop in Hackney? Fear not – here are 10 (well, technically nine) places to make her scream “Yes!” but not in a sexual way that makes everyone turn around and point.
Champagne Bar, St Pancras Station
King’s Cross is unlikely to be at the forefront of most Londoners’ minds when thinking of somewhere to propose (the noise, the rushing commuters, the prostitutes). However, the clinching 30ft lovers in Paul Day’s Brief Encounter-recalling sculpture and the setting of Europe’s longest champagne bar make this a winner. You could also make suggestive remarks about something else of astounding length and capable of maintaining an impressive erection. On the other hand, don’t say this.
The summit of Primrose Hill, Chalk Farm
From length to height – the highest point in London, to be precise, in a beautiful park setting. Lay down a tartan rug, set out a picnic, crack open the Cava and watch the sun set over this great city and she will be yours forever (unless you balls it up somehow or local cider-swigging chavs crash the party).
London Dungeon
The surprise element can work wonders. Just as horror films are great for couples, so too will your bride-to-be cling to you for protection at the Dungeon. And then … you know what to say. In case you don’t, each area offers a way in, whether it be the Boat Ride to Hell (“I feel we’re sailing upon the flickering flames of love”), the Blood and Guts Surgery (“my heart is also on display as I confess my love for you”), or the Torture Chamber (“I am likewise chained by my adoration for you”). Let Jack the Ripper be your Cupid.
Ice rink, Somerset House
The ultimate winter choice. One thinks of that scene in Splash when Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah went ice skating shortly before he proposed. Actually, if I recall correctly I think they had a big argument at the ice rink and she later turns out to be half woman, half fish. (NB: check your fiancée for fins and the smell of tuna).
Globe Theatre, South Bank
Take her to one of Shakespeare’s comedies in this open summer setting. Afterwards, say: “Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments” as you produce the ring. If she’s a fan of the bard, she’ll lap it up. If not, she’ll be so bored she’ll agree to anything. Result.
Greenwich Observatory
Not only is the view across Greenwich Park wonderful, but you can propose standing across the meridian line in a romantic landmark kind of way. Tell her that nothing will ever divide you and that together you have all the time in the world. Both statements are false, but you can’t beat a bit of bullshit when it comes to proposals.
Royal Opera House, Covent Garden
Get a balcony box. It’ll cost you, yes, but what price love? About £300, in fact. One for the hedge fund managers then. If they happen to be showing The Marriage of Figaro, you’re onto a winner. Pop the question at the opening of Cherubino’s second aria of act 2 and see your sweetheart’s spirits soar. Voi che sapete che cosa e amor indeed (which is this bit for the ignorant).
Abbey Road, zebra crossing
Come on, we’re all Fabs fans at heart. A public setting is always a favourite, and as you kneel on the zebra crossing, tenderly proffering a ring to your sweetheart, drivers will be thrilled to witness the heroic event as the traffic congests (you can even get your families to watch on the webcam). Wear a white suit and plimsoles for the full effect. Just don’t mention this was the last album they made together before they split up.
Dans Le Noir. Farringdon
This restaurant has the Unique Selling Point of being completely in the dark. Pitch black. This could lead to a sensual, erotic experience as your heightened tactile senses lead you inexorably toward the climactic proposal. Or you could accidentally propose to the waiter. It’s a toss of the coin, it really is.
London Eye, South Bank
NO! DON’T DO IT! I know what you’re thinking: the panoramic view, London’s skylight, the shared intimacy of the enclosed carriage. But think it through. The long queues, the tourists … and do you really want to look out to the House of Commons as you pop the question? “Ooh, let’s think of MPs’ expenses as we contemplate our life together”? No. Plus, what if she says “no”? It’s a long, awkward and painful wait till you get back to the bottom.
In fact, I believe this exact scenario actually happened for a poor guy in an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Despite this, the London Eye is listed as Marie Claire’s third best place in the world to propose, which just goes to show how much they know. So there’s a lesson here: don’t listen to women or television homosexuals when choosing somewhere to propose in the capital. Listen to me and pick one of the above options. You and your city-slicking offspring will thank me one day.
Brownie Points
- If you think your Mrs is the picky type (or you’re hopeless at choosing jewellery) you could opt for a symbolic ring (Pepsi ring pull) in a box from her favourite jewellers. Then tell her that you can pick the ring out together with budget no option. Then warn your bank manager.
- Plan the proposal. Have a contingency plan for if she wants time to think about it and something stashed away (champagne, fireworks, the London Philharmonic) for if she agrees.
- One way or another there will be tears. Clean tissues to hand shows just how damn smooth you are when she’s weeping her acceptance.
Related Posts:
Leave your response!