What The Registrar Saw
There’s really only one man (or woman, we’ve seen the Vicar of Dibley) who sees the wedding from an entirely different angle. In the case of civic weddings that man is the registrar and he gets to see the gathered guests as well as the nervous sweating couple at the front of the ceremony. We thought we’d ask our favourite registrar Zac Thraves what the view is like from where he stands.
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It’s no secret that every registrar that can stand and perform a ceremony is a wannabe; but, apart from their own ego-trip, what goes through the mind when you’re standing there and guiding an extremely nervous couple through the happiest day of their lives?
It’s an interesting question and one that made me look deep into my psyche. Without wishing to go too Jungian on you all, here are two things from a list (drawn in my own blood) I came up with a couple of things that keep a marriage celebrant awake at night…
Crying
Obviously, the Bride can shed a tear; the mother is not at fault if a small trickle issues from her eye; but the men?
I know it’s very ‘noughties’ for us males to give our emotions free reign, but really, be prepared for it! When girls cry it can look as beautiful as the lacy handkerchief handed down by Grandma just for those sparkling, little tears.
But men – shorn of any kind of control at the first sign of crumbling, clumsily haul a creased rag out of their pocket then unfold it until it’s the size of a bed sheet; this is then followed by the blare of a thousand trumpets marching to war emanating from the nostrils. If there is no blanket to hand then we witness an avalanche of slime with a panicked groom torn between using his sleeve or the tail-end of his frock coat to mop himself. Not pretty, or romantic.
Jokers
Legally, we have to ask, If anyone knows of a lawful impediment why blah blah and blah blah may not be joined in marriage, it should now be declared. Silence for a couple of seconds is perfect, the bride and groom are, for the most part, petrified about what they are about to do.
What they don’t need is some peripheral family member starting to cough, or make some noise (other than ‘I have an objection’) suggesting that there may be a problem with this happy union. Why do we all feel obliged to laugh at such lame humour? Come back Little and Large, all is forgiven!
This is quite possibly the most annoying thing at any wedding, but one that no wedding would be complete without, so please bear those two things in mind for the poor registrar who is worried about their ego, as the list goes on…
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