What Do You Say When You Propose?
Stag Test Dummy was chuffed with his latest purchase
Preparation Prevents P**s Poor Performance.
Ahh, the mantra of many a “team-building” away day. While personally I believe that being adaptive is a much greater strength, having good preparation is still a worthwhile endeavour.
Proposing is a ball-numbing anxiety-ridden affair, well at least it is to me and I suspect that there are a few more grooms-to-be out there that did, do, or will feel the same way. My current dilemma now that I have sorted timing and location out is what to actually say to her!
Back at school I did some public speaking and drama, so the “performance” part of it I am not too worried about. My quandary really lies with the delivery. There have been times when I’ve been forced to ad-lib / improvise deliveries and more often than not they went down OK, but I was always left with a niggling feeling that it could have been just that much bit better.
I have been thinking about exactly how to pitch it on the day. Too rehearsed and it could come across as mendacious (thank you thesaurus.com). Unrehearsed, and you may fluff your lines or risk trivialising one of the events she has been dreaming of since age five.
So, for those of you who want to say something important, to get it right, and for it to come across as natural, yet erudite (that one I did know, yay); I have prepared some hints that you can use to help plan out what to say during the Big-P.
- It’s not me, it’s you – this moment is about her, so waffling on about your feelings and thoughts for too much takes the emphasis away from her. Make sure you focus on how great she is, and then on how that affects you.
- The key to my heart – Pick out 3-5 key words or attributes that you want to focus on, this means you have less to remember on the day (when you’re going to be nervous), gives structure to what you want to say, and gives her “hooks” that will last in her memory
- it’s worth noting that you should probably blend these in with what you are saying; shouting “PRETTY EYES!” in the middle of a skating rink and people may think you have some sort of ice-induced Tourette’s. - Don’t always be 100% positive – real life is a cruel mistress, as we all know. If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, then an idea is to reference something you both found challenging, and then make her realise that you will be there to do that with her 100 times over, or something.
Yes, yes, I know it’s all well and good for me to waffle on not having done it myself, and I will always advocate making it personal to you – but I hope that these tips help you organise your thoughts ready for your own proposal! Also, let me know your own thoughts and experiences in the comments area – I’m really keen to hear from you!
Stag Test Dummy
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When my (now) fiance and I used to talk about the moment we would get engaged, I always told him I didn’t want either of us to feel uncomfortable or under pressure and told him just to ask when the moment felt right.
When it did happen, It was completely random and by surprise, we were in town and found the ring I had always wanted in a shop window (for the first time) He bought it there and then with me. He sat me on the sofa with closed eyes then proposed when we got home. It was so unexpected, no pressure and just perfect, but nothing like I had dreamed when I was a little girl!
It is a personal thing, this way was perfect for us and I’m sure your soon to be fiancee wont care what you say, she will just be over the moon that you have asked her!
Good luck! x
Thanks! It’s much appreciated! :)
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