Wedding TV: what to do for VD
The delightful Nessa Wrafter has some words of advice for anyone contemplating the horrors of VD (Valentine’s Day, not the other one).
So, it’s that time of year again boys. Yep, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Last year, I ended up in McDonalds being serenaded by a drunk who told me to ‘make sweet love’ to my man…and this was on our way back from the emergency room of my local hospital. It’s a long story that I won’t bore you with, but the bit that may interest you is that it was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had. Gasp I hear you say. (OK, so there was also staying in bed reading the papers most of the day, and a steak dinner on the couch too.)
But all in all, ER and Maccy D’s considered, what really mattered was that I was with the love of my life and we could laugh about it together. And it was us in a nutshell, i.e. a bit of a disaster area, but we lived to tell the tale! Something real and true is always better than a misplaced romantic gesture.
So, in the spirit of doing away with a lot of the myths which surround this blessed feast of love, I thought I’d break it down for you into some simple, easy to follow guidelines – in the style of one of my favourite romantic heroes, Rob Gordon*.
Worst Valentines Day Gifts
- Dodgy Teddy Bear with message on its tummy
- Anything you would give your Mum
- Gym membership. She is perfect the way she is, remember?!
- Any Celine Dion CD. (Barry White does romance with just a slice of cheese on the side. Gets me every time)
- Anything you can buy in bulk with your mates and all give to your respective ladeees.
Worst Ways to Propose
- In front of either of your families – it just screams manipulation. If she’s going to say yes, she’ll say yes. Pressuring her into it ain’t gonna work. Stalker.
- Drunk
- Crying
- Just after the first time you’ve had sex
- Starting with the words, “Look love, you’re not getting any younger…”
Top Surprisingly Easy Ways to melt your ladies’ heart
- Take a risk. There are few things in this world more likely to turn a girl into a little pile of quivering jelly than the sight of the man you love risking looking a little bit silly or vulnerable, just to make you happy.
- Be creative. Spending lots of money isn’t always the key. Sticking loads of little pictures you think she’ll like on a card is always a winner. It’s called collage by the way ;)
- A trip to Agent Provocateur/Myla/Coco de Mer. I know, it sounds clichéd but the truth is girls just love love love amazing underwear. You might even get a saucy surprise out of it…
- Cook for her. Again, basic, but a man who can cook wins over a bum with Domino’s on speed dial every day of the week.
- Personalize. Think about who she is. I mean who she really is, for example, if she likes 1930’s art, get yourself down to the local art gallery and browse the gift shop for a book on that era. If she likes Jordan, buy her some breast implants. You get the picture.
Have a fabulous Valentines Day boys!
Until next time,
Happy Ever Wrafter x
*See High Fidelity
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