Wedding Night Sex: Spicing Things Up
I’ve been with my wife-to-be for eight years and, if you’ll pardon the pun, we’ve fallen into a bit of a rut when it comes to sex, we both still enjoy it but it’s always the same. The honeymoon seems like a good time to get some of the spontaneity back. Any tips?
First a health and safety warning! Proceed with caution! When you suggest a change to your sex life make sure your partner doesn’t interpret it to mean that something’s wrong, or that she isn’t pleasing you. So rather than bringing in the spanking paddles and anal beads right from the off, start by upping the intimacy and add the extra dimension of raising sexual energy.
Try slow sex, originating from Polynesia. It works on the premise that we are all too focused on orgasm as a goal and have forgotten the art of sensual touch.
To do this take time to explore each other. Even if you think you know her body, spend some extra time arousing her WHOLE body. Lengthen the time on foreplay, the Polynesians believe it should be at least an hour. Caress, explore and stroke her, tease her by almost touching her genitals then moving away. Use fingertips and feather-light strokes.
Increase her arousal by passing her your sexual energy. As you feel her arousal rising, allow your own arousal to increase and “pass it to her”. This is done with the imagination as much as anything but it really does work. When you feel your sexual energy rising, move it up your body to your chest and heart area and then project it gently across to her heart. This will increase her arousal (and slightly lower yours which will prevent any chance of you coming too soon).
To do this imagine moving the arousal and energy up your back, contract your anal sphincter and breath in. At the top of your breath the energy should have risen to the top of your head. Breath out and and move the energy down your front to your chest. Pass this energy over to her at the heart whilst gazing into her eyes. Really FEEL it moving across. She won’t know what you’re doing. But she WILL feel it and she’ll love it.
You can also increase the tension by delaying her orgasm. If you know her orgasmic response cycle (and after eight years you should!) when you sense she is approaching orgasm, stop stimulating for a moment. This will frustrate her (in a good way), then stimulate again until she is close and then stop. Do this four or five times to build the intensity and energy. When you eventually do allow her to surrender to orgasm it will be MUCH more intense.
Later you might want to learn how to exchange sexual energy during orgasm, this is known as the tantric kiss and leads to a full body orgasm for both of you. As a last point, make the focus of your attention on her and her pleasure. She will reward you by doing the same.
Enjoy
Dr. Lisa Turner aka The O Coach specialises in sexual energy, relationships and intimacy. Click the link for a free Teleclass on the Mystery of Sex Transmutation.
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DILIP
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