Wedding Acronyms You Need To Know

Planning a wedding is a time of immense busyness so who on earth has time to write words out in full? Think of all the time you could save by writing HM instead of Honeymoon! Why it’s practically enough time to take a HM! Lol!

Unfortunately, conventional wedding acronyms go anything like far enough, so we’ve added a few to the pot that we hope will be adopted by wedding forums across the globe, thus saving you and your W2B (Wife To Be – you see how this works?) precious microseconds: time, our gift to you.

CONVENTIONAL WEDDING ACRONYMS

Not Wedding Related

H2B - Husband 2 Be

BM – Best Man

FOB/FOTB – Father Of The Bride

MOB/MOTB - Mother Of The Bride

DFH – Darling (or Dear) Future Husband

MOH – Maid of Honour/Honor

NWR – Not Wedding Related

HM – Honeymoon

HTH – Hope That Helps

STD…Save The Date (No, really)

STAGGERED’S GENERAL ALL-PURPOSE WEDDING ACRONYMS

SW…Shotgun Wedding

UPS…Unwanted Present Smile

OMG…Obligatory Mental Guest

FML…Forgot My Lapel-flower

FYI…Forgot Your Invitation

DNW…Divorce Next Week

SNOB…Seated Near the Open Bar

TGIF…The Groom Is Fucked

BYOB…Bun You put in her Oven Bride

AWOL…After Wedding Orderly Libations

TARDIS…Girlfriend’s Handbag

WHEREFORE…Would’ve Heard Earnest Reading from Ecclesiastes but Football On Radio went into Extra time

STAGGERED’S WEDDING GUEST-RELATED ACRONYMS

BOG…Bride Or Groom

WTF…Weddings Tire Feet

MASH…Mime As they Sing the Hymns

RSVP…Reasonably Safe Voucher Present

NSFW…Never Say you’ll Film the Wedding

LGBT…Loitering Guests by the Buffet Table

DATBIT…Distract her As The Bouquet Is Thrown

SPECTRE…Seating Plan Encouraging Conflict ‘Twixt Relatives for Entertainment

QUANGO…Quietly Announcing you Need to Go (at the end of the night, not just when you need the toilet.)

STAGGERED’S BEST MAN-RELATED ACRONYMS

BM…Best Man

DC…Dutch Courage

BTT…Burn The Toast*

BFF…Bride’s Fuckable Friend

LOL…Life’s Over for the Lads

WILF…Wife I Like…as a Friend

NKOTB…Not Keen On The Bridesmaid

SMERSH…Stains Mar Early Return of Suit Hire

WHOSSOS…What Happens On Stag Stays On Stag

MMORPG…Marriages May lead to Official Requests for Proposals from Girlfriends

STAGGERED’S GROOM-RELATED ACRONYMS

FW…Future Wife

HM…Honeymoon

LTD…Lost The Deposit

POV…Poetic Original Vows

FFS…Fattened Finger Syndrome (when your ring inexplicably no longer fits, causing discomfort when holding pies.)

FMIL…Future Mother-In-Law

ROTFL…Ring On Third Finger Left

STIFF…Subtly Thwart Invitation of Former Flames

TMWRNJ…Tomorrow Morning We Return that Non-essential Juicer

CLITORIS…Commit to a Lifetime of Intimate Tender Oral Romance, Including Sundays

BRB, just need to YKW.

*invaluable speeches for weddings company too

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