Surviving The Stag-Do: Drinking Tactics
So it’s your stag do, and a Bacchanalian drinking session is on the cards. But how can you make sure you’re still standing at the bitter end?
As discussed in part one of our stag-do survival guide, the after-effects of a heavy session can range from severe hangovers, to severe death; so some preparation may well be in order.
Eating is not cheating
Food helps to slow down the body’s absorption of alcohol, meaning less chance of an early trip to the sub’s bench. The NHS recommends a pre-drink meal that’s high on carbohydrates (such as pasta or rice) or fats, so why not start the evening in an Italian restaurant? Eating peanuts or other snacks while drinking is a good idea too.
Important note: if you do have a pre-stag meal, remember the curry rule. It may be the manly option, but eating heavy, stodgy food will make for a lethargic, farty group of stags and no one wants that.
The White Stuff
It’s not just an old wives’ tale – a pre-sesh glass of moo juice prevents irritation of the stomach lining and helps drinking stamina. Annoyingly, the same logic does not apply to White Russians.
Tactical drinking
Drinking a glass of water between drinks is a good way of keeping hydrated and preventing yourself from getting drunk too quickly but – top tip alert! – avoid fizzy pop as the bubbles speed up the absorption of alcohol into your system. Downing the occasional water might line you up for a bit of stick from the rest of the party, but you can just tell them it’s neat vodka and they’ll think you’re superman. Plus, when they pass out you get to write stuff on their face – Go Water!
The old switcheroo
The members of your stag party will want to see you imbibe as many drinks as possible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t apply a little sleight of hand to help you keep upright. If you’re being overloaded with more booze than you can drink, why not stash the spares somewhere inconspicuous, or pass them to a sympathetic accomplice for disposal? A well-placed potted plant may be useful for ditching unwanted shots too, but be sure to ham up the performance by slamming your glass down and pulling a face afterwards.
Don’t mix the grape and the grain
It’s likely you’ll become acquainted with the lesser visited regions of the top shelf during your stag, but try and limit the amount of different drinks you take. Different drinks contain different chemicals which, when combined, can cause worse hangovers as your body has to work overtime to deal with all the various substances.
Avoid dark coloured drinks
According to the NHS, dark coloured alcoholic drinks such as red wine, brandy, whiskey, dark rum and port contain natural chemical impurities called congeners that can irritate blood vessels and tissue in the brain. Best give that black sambucca a miss then.
The tactical vomit
OK, so this one’s not so pleasant, but when the time comes you may need to embrace your inner Roman and get the beast out of your belly in the toilet cubicle. This should absolutely not be a part of a regular night out as vomiting puts a lot of strain on your body, but in the battlefield environment of a stag do, things are going to get ugly.
Just remember to pocket some chewing gum before you leave the house so your breath doesn’t smell like a compost heap for the rest of the night.
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