Stag-Do Survival – Surviving The Stripper
It probably won’t make you popular with your mates, but there are loads of valid reasons why you might not want a stripper at your stag do. Maybe you’re a vociferous feminist. Maybe your wife-to-be wouldn’t like it. Or perhaps you just don’t want to be covered in whipped cream, smothered in 36G breasts and whipped raw in front of old schoolfriends, your boss and your future father-in-law.
In this latest guide to surviving your stag do, we look at ways of keeping in control if you’re faced with we’ve dubbed a USE – an Unwanted Stripper Encounter.
SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
As with much of our stag survival advice, the best way to ensure against strippergeddon is to have a quiet word with the best man while the stag night is still in the planning stages. It’s the best man who’ll be booking the stripper and, therefore, get to call the shots.
According to Dave Carmen of Essex-based strippergram agency Limelight, clients are more than welcome to make special requests and set limits at the point of booking.
PICK THE RIGHT STRIPPER
Dave reckons there are two types of stripper. There are good strippers, who are there to ensure a fun time is had by all, and evil strippers, whose sole intention is to humiliate the groom. A good stripper, says Dave, will put the groom at ease. “Lots of the girls will have a word in the groom’s ear before they start – they’ll tell them to relax and go along with it and everything will be fine. They’re professionals and they respond to the way the groom behaves, so they’ll know whether or not you’re comfortable with the set-up.”
PASS IT ON
But what to do if you’re faced with an ‘evil’ stripper? Simple: pass the buck. If you’re really not comfortable with being involved in a stripper’s domination fantasy, simply defer it to the best man, or any other willing member of the stag party. Let’s face it, there’s likely to be at least one. “You’ll find that the person who’s paying for it is the one who expects more,” says Dave. “And generally, the best man will be more than happy to step in.”
JUST SAY NO
If you’re not able to shirk the task and find yourself cajoled onto the stage, don’t be afraid to be assertive. Saying ‘no’ if the show goes too far may make you feel like a spoilsport, but that one-syllable word might ensure you go home with your trousers (and dignity) intact. Even the most outrageous stripper won’t want to be held up for human rights abuses.
DAD’S THE WORD
One way of ensuring a more PG-rated show is to take a mixed group along, including the older generation. The strippers respond to the mood of the group, says Dave, so a genial party of varying ages in the back room will get a different experience to a baying crowd in a rugby club. If all else fails, you can, of course, do a runner.
“We had one instance where the groom bolted as soon as the girl arrived,” says Dave. “Straight out the back door and never seen again.” A case of extreme USE management if ever we heard of one.
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Great advice here.
I had a buddy who almost lost his wife when she heard about the stripper and what happened at the stag party. And this was only a week after they were married.
- HC
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