Real Stags: Mark Benson

What is Real Stags you ask? Well, even though you’ve parsed your question incorrectly (what “are” Real Stags) we’ll answer: they’re blokes on their stag-do. We see them getting drunk, looking funny, we then share their pictures and multiply their embarrassment whilst showing some decent stag-do ideas for you. Now go and read a grammar book or whatever.

Today we have Mark Benson getting medieval on his own arse at The Knights of Middle England.

Having a best man who’d emigrated to Canada (what some people will do to get out of their duties) meant I had to organise my own stag. I wanted something out-of-the-ordinary, something no one would have done before and that would break the ice between two groups of friends. I found The Knights of Middle England on the web – perfect! (and you can find them on the Staggered map on our home page – ed)

What activities did you do?

We spent the whole day with the Knights – sword fighting to begin with. What started as a free-for-all with foam ‘swords’ ended up with four perfectly choreographed stage fights between skilled performers. OK, actually it ended up with eight blokes narrowly decapitating one another in fits of childish giggles.

We were then matched to our horses according to ability – there were all levels from complete beginners to ex-horse owners. Once we were ‘comfortable’ with our steeds we were given lances and had a go at the targets at whatever speed we felt confident at. I chose full pelt and missed most of them! Finally, the Black Knight appeared and we were given the chance to have a go at a joust against the instructor!

Share the stag-do in-jokes please…

Being picked up by a fully costumed Knight in a minibus got the day off to a suitably odd start. Rich B and his ‘horse love dismount’. Rich R and I clashing the metal swords and looking at one another with faces that said “We’re liable to really do each other some damage here”.

Where did you drink?

We went on into Birmingham after and spent the evening somewhere there – you expect me to remember where I drank on my stag night? Lots and lots of places. One of them had foam, all of them had beer. And spirits.

What’s the story that you definitely can’t tell?

How I lost my shoes.

Best moment?

The jousting, by far. The evening pales into insignificance when compared to the day’s activities. Everyone should challenge their mates with swords and see them trying desperately not to fall off horses.

Would you recommend it?

Wholeheartedly, yes.