Page Boys and Ringbearers: The Basics
If you’re having children at your weddings then it’s a good idea to proactively involve them in the ceremony and reception. Why? Because otherwise children get bored, start mucking about, moaning, and take the location as an opportunity to loudly ask about God, Jesus and the state of the universe. The roles of page boy and ringbearer are an ideal way to get younger guests involved in what is ultimately a pretty long and ‘grown up’ day. Unless that is you want to use your wedding to mentally scar children, in which case you should read this.
"When I grow up, I'm going to be an investment banker!"
There are no hard and fast rules with these things but page boys and ringbearers are traditionally under ten, the optimum age for children volunteering or agreeing to take part, and seven tends to be the minimum age to entrust them with the responsibility. That said children vary wildy so if you think your rugrats are up for the challenge get to it.
Page Boys: The Basics
In essence the page boy’s role is to look positively adorable and to follow the bride up the aisle, carrying the train of her dress.
The page boy usually wears a similar style to the groom’s party, but it’s a nice idea to let the lads involved have some input into what they’d like to wear, assuming it’s within the style of the wedding and they don’t want to arrive dressed as Spiderman. Formal wear might seem like great fun for adults but it might just start the tantrums off in younger folk.
It’s a very good idea to tell the youngster what you have in mind ahead of time, and explain what is expected of them on the day. Explain what a wedding is all about and why it’s an honour to get this special role. For added ease explain that there’s usually a present in it for them.
It’s also worth popping into the church a few days before for a lighthearted run-through of what will happen, without the pomp and ceremony of the day, which could make children feel intimidated.
It’s also worth remembering how messy children can be, especially at the reception, so given the deposits required for formal hire, it could be worth investing in formal clothing for them or at least bringing some alternative wear for when they want to start skidding around the dance floor.
Ringbearers: The Basics
This role is slightly different to the page boy, in that it’s usually undertaken by a child closer to the family, such as a son or daughter, rather than a cousin or a niece or a friend’s child. The ringbearer presents the ring on a velvet cushion to the groom when he arrives at the altar. The ringbearer can be either a boy or girl, as it’s a less traditional position in the wedisphere.
Owing to what can go wrong if you entrust a young child with an expensive and pivotal wedding ring, there are a few sneaky secrets to this practice to prevent disaster. The ring is either lightly sewn into the cushion’s fabric so it’s not accidentally deposited halfway down the aisle, or instead it is already in the pocket of the best man all along, with a fake ring on the cushion (shock!)
If the selected child doesn’t feel comfortable in the position of ring bearer, cats and dogs are also surprisingly well suited for this role. Although no child likes being replaced by an animal, it must be said. You should also speak to the church/civil venue to ensure that they’re ok with your cat/dog/llama having a starring role.
How To Make It Enjoyable
The key factor to ensuring these roles are undertaken without a hitch, and also that you don’t come across like one of the worse adults around is to communicate with the kids well in advance and make sure they understand the role. Tell them why you’ve chosen them for the role, let them see and possibly even choose elements of their clothes on the day and emphasise how proud you are of them.
You’ll probably also want to invest in a gift to say thanks for their services. A formal gift such as a watch or a pen will seem rewarding and in the spirit of the day, but will be viewed with extreme skepticism by anyone under the age of 13. Therefore perhaps opt for a small memento of the day (an engraved hip flask, say) and something more immediate. Bear in mind that all children want to play with new toys NOW, so make sure it’s something that can keep them amused during the reception and not intrude on the reception, like a super-soaker or vuvuzela.
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Unless your loaded getting matching formal wear can be rally expensive but If there’s a few of you who need a posh matching suit then I’m sure you could get some discount at a hire shop if ordered at the same time.
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