Nervous About The Spotlight? We’re Here To Help
There are some men who bask in the spotlight but if you’re more of a fade-into-the shade kind of guy the idea of spending an evening with everyone’s attention focused solely on you and your bride is enough to make you want to cancel the reception all together. 
But since that’s not an option, read on.
We’ve all heard the tales of brides and grooms who mistook their wedding for a license to spend 12 months basking in the spotlight while those around them faded into the chorus (I am talking to you friends who made your bridal party stand in the hot sun for an eight hour photo run) but there are some men and women who would rather swallow a slice of cake made of glass than have the proverbial spotlight thrust upon them in front of 100 or more of their closest family and friends. That said, the only cake I want you downing should be covered in Butter cream so let’s discuss some ways in which you can have a great time on your special day—without feeling uncomfortable.
Hire a Rock Star Officient: You don’t want to employ Will Ferrell’s out-of-work brother tossing out tired one-liners, but do hire someone who can keep the crowd interested, toss in a few laughs and who is comfortable in the spotlight him or herself.
Don’t Get Too Wordy: Your vows are a chance to tell your bride all of the reasons you love her and promise to cherish, protect and honor her for all of your life, so say all of those things—in private. Write her a special letter and have it delivered to her suite before the wedding, and keep the vows at the ceremony short, sweet and simple.
You Know Your Charming Best Friend? Give Him a Toast: Obviously, handing the mike to the pal who will spill the details on that trip to Amsterdam that led you to the clinic is a bad idea, but asking a trusted friend with an outgoing personality to say a few words is a great way to give the crowd what they want (toasts on your behalf) while hiding in the shadow of someone who thoroughly enjoys being the center of attention.
Thank Everyone in Print: Instead of standing up and giving a long speech, place a small note card on each table, thanking guests for being a part of your special day and let them know how much having them there means to you. Then, stand up and say, “Thank you all so much for coming, we hope you will enjoy tonight as much as we will.” Painless, I tell you!
Take a Break: Your wedding is all about you and your bride and your loved ones want to honor you, but that doesn’t mean you need to stand in the middle of the room, answering every last question and posing for photos for five hours straight. Enlist the help of a close friend or family member to “save” you when you give them a signal you both agree upon. Then, once you are out of sight, head to a private bathroom or even up to your room for a few minutes to relax and catch your breath. If possible, grab your bride for a few minutes. If you’re using a wedding planner who you trust then this can be a great task for them to do.
Talk to the Staff: Make sure you let the DJ/Band know that you’re not interested in any special attention via microphone throughout the night.
Make it a Family Affair: The wedding dance can be daunting for couples who aren’t keen on being in the middle of the room, so instead of slow dancing to what feels like the longest song ever written, invite your parents or grandparents to join you both on the dance floor.
Try To Remember Why Everyone is There: We often feel uncomfortable with attention when we fear we are being judged but the reality is that your guests are there to see you, they love you and are honored to share in a day celebrating your love for one another. Besides, it’s only going to last a day so why not make a little effort and ensure it’s one to remember.
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