Is It Essential To Wear A Wedding Ring?
Are rings essential? I only ask because I’ve never worn one before and I get completely paranoid about getting it stuck on my finger. If I had the choice I’d rather mark the commitment in any other way (a tattoo maybe?) but is that allowed?
Well, yes and no. In a Christian marriage, a ring is always exchanged: but it can be just a one way exchange. i.e. the woman always has to receive a ring: the man doesn’t always have to receive a ring.
In the text of the preface to the service, the regulation states, “in token of this (i.e.the marriage) they will [each] give and receive a ring.” The square brackets around the ‘each’ is to allow for the possibility that it may be a one way exchange.
Normally, the reason it’s only one way is that back in the day, the wife belonged to the husband in a way that the husband did not belong to the wife, and so only the wife needed a ring as a sign of her being owned by the husband.
Whilst most couples exchange rings and both husband and wife wear a ring these days, that isn’t the case for everyone. For some, they like being traditional. In your case, it would be to do with paranoia about the ring getting stuck on your finger!
So in short, there’s no reason you have to wear a ring, but it would be good to explain to your fiancee why you are doing so, else she might presume you have old-fashioned ideas about ‘ownership’ and the like.
If you want a tattoo, go for it, but I can confidently state that there is no liturgy in the Church of England for the occasion of having a tattoo done: probably best leave that bit out of the service. Though, heaven knows, I would bless a tattoo if someone really wanted me to.
Father Robert Stanier
Chaplain, Archbishop Tenison’s School, Oval Youth minister, North Lambeth team and St Anne with All Saints, South Lambeth
“The glory of God is a human being fully alive.”
Irenaeus of Lyons
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