How To Get The Church On The Date You Want

We’ve secured the venue we want for our chosen date but we now need to make sure we can get a church to get married in – do you have any advice on finding free slots with short notice?

Well, the first thing is there’s short notice and short notice. I sometimes have people coming into our church parish office on a Saturday morning and asking if they could get married some time next week (yes, really). Other times, I have people anxiously worrying whether a Saturday in 2012 has already been booked yet. People have hugely varying views about what constitutes ‘short notice’.

That said, there are three things to look out for if you want a slot quickly.

First, the legal deal: typically, you need to get married by ‘banns’, which means reading out your names and your intention to get married on three successive Sundays. It’s illegal for a marriage to go ahead without this on most occasions, so that will take at least three weeks and most vicars would seek out four weeks at least just in case they forget to do it one time. So certainly, don’t expect to be married within a month of applying: in almost every case, that’s legally impossible.

Second, there’s the issue of preparation. For most parishes, it takes too much time to prepare one couple at a time, so they may want to ‘group’ your preparation with other couples also about to get married. In both parishes where I’ve worked, we’ve tried to have at least three couples being prepared at the same time, over the course of a few evenings. This is also more fun for the couples, but it may mean waiting around for a bit because the ‘next’ date for a marriage preparation course isn’t for a few months. This will very much depend on the parish. Some vicars offer no preparation at all, which I think is a shame, but it does cut down on time, if you’re in a rush to get married for some reason.

Third, there’s getting the particular date you want. And here it’s a bit of a lottery. For example, the church isn’t going to shift the date of the church fete to accommodate you, as that will have been agreed as the fourth Saturday in June or whatever, sometime in the middle 20th Century, because it’s always been like that and to change that date would have ramifications on diaries all over the place…

Otherwise, most churches offer a first come, first served approach. i.e. if you have booked your date first, then you will get to keep it even if three couples come in later to ask for that date.

What might present an opportunity, though, is the time of the wedding. It’s quite common to have one wedding at 12 midday and another, say, at 2.30pm, especially in the popular weekends in May, June, July and August. All you’ve got to be aware, though, is that the first wedding will have a knock-on effect to the second, if you’ve got your heart set on particular flowers in the church or whatever. And that will also play into what plans you’ve got in mind for the reception.

Finally, there’s the eccentric vicar factor.

One vicar I know played for a cricket team on Saturday afternoons, so he would insist that weddings take place no later than midday in the summer months, to allow him to get off afterwards to play in their match.

Or, not eccentric at all, the vicar’s unlikely to cancel his or her holiday if he or she has booked two weeks away in France, even if you’re dead set on getting such and such a date. He or she may, though, may be able to ask a colleague to take the service.

One possibility, if you want it short notice, you may want to ask for a Friday wedding as they are rarer in terms of the church getting booked. Bear in mind, though, that for many vicars, Friday is their day off (we work weekends!) and so they might not be thrilled at the prospect, though they may still do it for you.

Broadly speaking, allow at least three months beforehand in less popular churches and upto 18 months, (yes, really!) in more popular churches and you should be able to get what you want.

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