How To Get Rid Of A Wedding Hangover

As we all know, weddings and drinking go together like fish and chips – my fellow Staggered author Pete Boyland has even done a handy guide on what to drink at a wedding. Unfortunately, copious amounts of booze can often lead to not only shameful antics that lead to letters of apology, a de-tagging session on Facebook and frantic calls to your solicitor but also killer hangovers.

She's going to feel terrible when she wakes up...

What is a hangover? According to Wikipedia, it is ‘the sum of unpleasant physiological effects following heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages’. Apparently, most of the aforementioned effects are caused by dehydration of both the body and the brain. If you’re lucky enough, you don’t succumb to the throes of a hangover (bastard) but if you are worried about the worst morning after the best day of your life, look no further. Here is a handy guide to beating the post-wedding hangover.

1. Prevention

To ensure that dehydration does not occur while you are asleep, drink water before going to bed. The amount generally depends on your weight and amount you’ve drunk, but I swear by at least two pints (5” 7’, 9st) before passing out. The difference it makes is tremendous. It doesn’t have to be water – Coke, juice or even tea work just as well, as long as you have lots of it.

2. Cure

So you’ve forgotten the first rule and woke up feeling like a hammered turd. Here are some things that, from personal experience, have helped me feel like a functioning human being:

Sleep – Invaluable when you’ve drank too much. Make sure you have booked those honeymoon flights later on in the day.

Toilet – It’s a bit of a private subject, but it makes sense that you feel better once everything you’ve consumed the night before has come out of your body. Whether you do the two-fingered throat salute or just spend ten minutes reading the newspaper, you’ll feel better for it.

Food – Basically, anything to absorb all the crap kicking about in your stomach. If you’re one of those people who can’t eat anything when hungover, at least try to eat a few slices of toast. If you’re not, take full advantage of the full English at your hotel. Eat lots of fruit too – the vitamins will perk you up (or just take vitamins if you’re a fruit-hater).

Happy hormones – This is where all that marital sex comes in.

Fluids – A nice, cold glass of juice, with lots of ice. Multiply by whatever number necessary to rehydrate.

Hair of the dog – A Bloody Mary in particular.

Sauna/steam room – Sweat all the toxins out. Make sure to drink loads of fluids to replace the ones lost through sweating.

If you have any other tried-and-tested hangover cures, please stick them in the comments as I will no doubt be making notes before the big day.

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