Can We Help This Groom Get Ben Folds To Play At His Wedding?

Here at Staggered we’re all about men and weddings. You know this. That’s why when we heard that there was a groom out there who needed our help, we rushed to put our considerable weight (we’re still carrying a bit of Christmas poundage) behind his campaign to try and harness the power of the internet to get Ben Folds to play at his wedding.

Here’s Dave’s open letter to Mr Folds explaining the whole mad affair.

TEMPLE OF GROOM
OPERATION: GET BEN FOLDS TO PLAY OUR WEDDING
DAY ONE Task 1: Reach out to Internet
Task 2: Letter to Ben Folds (see below)

Dear Ben,

Hey dude, what’s up? Did you see the series finale of “Monk?” I don’t really watch that show, but I think it was pretty good. Cool, cool….So look, obviously you know I didn’t come here to talk about “Monk” and I know what you’re thinking “Dave only writes to me when he wants something.” Look, you’re not completely wrong. I feel terrible about it. But now I’m swallowing my pride because I’d be forever grateful if you could just do me this one solid: play at our wedding in August. Before you scoff, and turn away, I do want to say that you kind of did this to yourself man. You’re too good. You’ve made it impossible to like any other music. Nothing will do.

I don’t want to bore you with details about Rebecca and me, but you’d really like us. We’re fun, and we’re going to have a great wedding. The food should be awesome, and you’re totally welcomed to eat with us. We’ve been fans of yours for a very long time. I’ve loved your music for the last 12 years when I first heard you (I was living in Charlotte at the time). We’re definitely fans, but we’re not the type you have to be afraid of (we’ve never thought about wearing your skin to see if it makes us better at the piano!). BUT, we are the type of fan that thought that your concert was the best way to spend our 3 year anniversary last year (@ the Wiltern).

On TV, I just watched Oprah surprise her best friend Gayle by having Josh Groban serenade her at work. I think you’re easily 10x cooler than Josh Groban. I’m not saying that we’re any better than Gayle, but between you and me…well, I just think you’d have a better time at our wedding than hanging with Gayle (although I hear that she makes an awesome spinach and artichoke dip). You seem like someone that would want to make a wedding on a tight budget the event of a lifetime because it would mean so much to the couple. I don’t know how true this is, but years ago a friend of mine that went to UNC claimed he saw you talking to a homeless man for over an hour. This proves that you’re awesome and caring. This is why I think I have a chance, albeit a 0.04% chance.

Alright, I don’t want this to get too beggy, or too long so I guess I’ll wrap this up. If you’ve got any questions, please don’t hesitate to write. But before I go, just think about all the website hits you’re gonna get from people that read my website. I can guarantee probably about 20-30 a day….a DAY. You’ll blow up. Lastly, let me say that Rebecca and I love you and we hope your family is well and having a great holiday season.

Hit me back whenever you get a chance,
Dave

PS. If it makes a difference I can promise that you won’t have to play “Rock this bitch” at the wedding!

*************

So that’s it. You know what you have to do. Spread the word. Email people. Knock on doors. Shout it out at Ben Folds’ gigs. Get it tattoed on your face and then run up to Ben and get him to read your face and then spend the rest of your life cursing your own stupidity.

In all seriousness if you can help Dave get to Ben then drop us an email info@iamstaggered.com and we’ll put you in touch.

Related Posts:

• The Pop Pickers
• Groom News
• How I Sorted My Wedding Music
• Wedding Bands (Music, Not Rings)…
• In The News: This Week’s Round-Up