Blog – What’s The Point Of Getting Married?
Hi Brenda, What’s the point of getting married? I know it’s a good day and everything but is it really necessary?
Dear Matrimonially Suspicious,
While there is no shortage of dogma, doctrine and fairy tales, all readily available to push the pros of getting married, the truth is, there is no point to it unless the two people involved infuse it with one.
Sure, there are long-term health and emotional benefits to having a loving, respectful relationship but that has little to do with the act of “getting married”. In fact, one of the biggest fallacies perpetuated in society is that love and marriage are always holding hands and skipping down the road to “Happily Ever After” when that’s just not the case.
The sad truth is that there are plenty of people who have signed a license and shoved cake into one another’s faces who are now living with someone they don’t know, or don’t like and many others who have never stepped foot into a church or city hall who are happily committed life partners.
That said, when two people believe in marriage (and one another) and want to make a legal and emotional commitment and live as husband and wife, it’s a gorgeous union and it’s sacred, because they make it so.
If you’re asking about the ceremony itself, most brides and grooms I have spoken to walk away from their wedding day claiming the most beautiful aspect was looking around and seeing all of their loved ones surrounding them and sharing in a life moment that will be remembered for all time.
That certainly doesn’t mean you have to have a traditional wedding or spend thousands of dollars. It may mean getting married at City Hall and meeting friends and family at a local restaurant or eloping and throwing a BBQ. Again, it’s what works for the couple. We decide how our relationships will be defined and executed and should follow our own paths and what works best for ourselves and our partners.
Too many men and women try to “follow the wedding rules” when they simply don’t work for them, which only leads to feeling suffocated and resentful. I will end by saying this, while compromise is essential for any relationship to work, no one should compromise on marriage. If you want it, you should have it, and if you don’t, don’t say “I do”.
Good luck!
Brenda Della Casa
Author of Cinderella Was a Liar
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