A Male Wedding Planner’s Tips On How To Survive

You’d imagine that male wedding planners would be few and far between, but in actual fact there’s about four or five we know of here at Staggered. Anyway, Leigh – the male half of married wedding planning duo Myriad Genii (looks Latin = classy) got in touch with some excellent advice on how to stay sane during the planning process. Let us know what you think of Leigh’s advice in the comments or on the forum.

It can be very easy for the groom to be cast into the shadows when it comes to planning a wedding and although he may actually prefer it that way, it could prove quite useful to get him involved at some point. I believe I was coaxed in to a wedding discussion with the promise of beer and that the sooner it was done, the sooner I could have my beer.

Having said that, this bribe was only offered once, and that was right at the start. Once I was involved with planning our wedding, I couldn’t stop – I was hooked. And I had also found where the beer was hidden.

Whilst on honeymoon and on our relaxing 10 mile stomp to the Golden Gate Bridge and back, my sparkling new wife and I were discussing about the preparations and the build up to the wedding.

Much like our walk, our talk meandered. But I suppose you could say in both instances we got to where we wanted. Our walk – the other side of the Bridge. Our talk – coming to the conclusion that there really isn’t much help out there for wedding planning from both a bride and groom perspective. From this frustration, Myriad Genii Occasions was born.

Here are a few tips to help get you, the groom, through the preceding years/months/weeks before you tie the knot:

1. Wedding preparations can be stressful and believe it or not, there are things that can be done to alleviate this. Sometimes all it takes is a weekend off, or even better a weekend away – but don’t replace the stress of organising a wedding with the stress of organising a complicated trip. Keep it simple. Or even simpler, a bottle of Kalms…

2. Once you are involved, compromise. You might not be able to afford that Vanquish to take you to the church. Or those Cuban cigars you want to give out as favours. But don’t go to the other end of the scale either – an Austin Healey and a pack of Slim Line Panatellas might not invoke the image you were hoping for…

3. Remember, it’s your day too. So throw in your opinion when asked about the colour scheme. After all, something that you are wearing will have to match. And the flowers – you will be wearing a button hole, so choose something that you’ll be comfortable wearing.

4. Go to see the potential venues of the wedding and reception – it’s also another important decision that you’ll need to have some input on. Even if all you’re concerned about is the price of the alcohol, have a walk around, talk to the representatives – after all, the nicer you are to them, the more accommodating they may become.

5. When choosing a suit for the day, you don’t always have to hire them – remember, at the end of it all, the bride goes home with her dress, why shouldn’t you go home with your suit?  If you find a style that you like, try to find a suit that you can purchase off the rack. It can cost over £100 to hire each suit and the rest of the ensemble, but there are lots of suits out there that can be purchased, and if necessary, altered for about the same total cost.

6. Ring, no ring? Ring, no ring? At the end of the day, it really is down to personal preference. Your profession may dictate whether or not you wear a ring on a day-to-day basis, but you can still have one. The number of times you envisage wearing it could also be a bearing on what you’re willing to pay for it too.

7. Choose your entourage wisely. There’s no point in selecting a friend as your best man who will fall to bits under pressure, or similarly one who needs a four pack of Special Brew to cope. It’s not fair on either of you. They can still be involved as an usher, or if they’re fairly short, a page boy…

8. Unless you’re an actor who specialises in monologues, no one is going to expect you to remember all your speech. Split a number of record cards into two sections, with a chunk of the speech at the top and a bullet list of key points from the same section at the bottom. Try to use the bullet points and embellish them – it will sound more natural, but you can use the full text if you get stuck. Oh, and practise.

9. Even if she says “no” when you ask, get her a present that you give to her on the wedding day itself. Not flowers though, as there will be an entire florists’ worth available to her during the day and also there isn’t much point to a bunch of flowers looking pretty, in a vase, on your mantelpiece, when you’re both on honeymoon.

10. If you’re still not convinced and are shying away from all involvement, there are other “more manly” activities that can contribute to the planning effort. If there are things that need to be purchased, have a go at making them instead. If there are things that need sourcing, don your hunter-gatherer cap and go find them. Remember to make the grunting noises a la Tim “The Toolman” Taylor whilst doing so.

But, if after reading all of this you still don’t want to involve yourself, think about your wife-to-be and all that planning that is currently resting on her shoulders. Why not give her a hand and call in some experts…?

Related Posts:

• Organising a wedding – the bits in between
• Picking The Venue
• Smug and Married
• Ringing The Changes, Or One Man’s Proposal
• Restoring My Faith In Cakes